January 2005

Who Wants a Cookie?
An Adventure Story About Sharing

Gonzo: I told you guys that this thing was full of cookies!
Astroman: Damn, Gonzo, you should work for the Government. They can't find shit.
Gonzo: You can't find shit that wasn't there in the first place, dude.
Volcantor: Break in! Cookie time! Cookie Time!
Astroman: What? You two need to get on the same page! Now, before you distract me again, let's get one of those cookies out and start chompin'!

Volcantor: Stand still, Gonzo! Lift with your legs!
Gonzo: I am standing still, bitch! And be quiet! It's not like this is 300 tons of explosives. Someone may catch us stealing this.
Volcantor: (whispering) Snacking and accountability!
Astroman: That's the spirit, red-man! Now watch me use some karate to bust this cookie in half!
Gonzo: Just don't bust up my nose.
Astroman: I'm all about the cookie, you crazy chicken fucker!

KARATE……

CHOP!!!

Gonzo: AWESOME!
Volcantor: It's almost bite size!!!!

Gonzo: We kicked that cookies ass!
Astroman: We sure did. I feel like I just conquered the moon, or a wicked big asteroid.
Volcantor: MANDATE! MANDATE! EAT NOW!
Astroman: Yes, our success in stealing, breaking, and eating this cookie will allow us to steal, break, and eat more cookies whenever we want.
Gonzo: But stealing is technically -
Astroman: Shut up! Don't ruin my buzz.
Gonzo: Yeah, this must be what FDR felt like when he beat up Famous Amos!
Volcantor: TIME TO EAT!

Astroman: [Gmaw, crunch, swallow!] This is great! I love burying my face in some sweet home cookin'!
Gonzo: [Robble, maw, swallow!] Damn straight, buddy! I'd give up chickens if we could get a piece of this every day!
Volcantor: [Chomp! Chomp! Chomp!] My turn to chomp again!

The End

About the Author
Grandpa lives with his wife in a city close to New York.
He's a raving liberal elitist who hates wearing pants.

(Picture of Author watching President Bush interview on 20/20.)