May/June
2006: 7th Anniversary Spectacular
Adore
Us!
This
month we asked our staff to write a poem or draw a picture depicting how Godzilla
and Grandpa have changed their lives in the past seven years, and to be allegorical
or specific.
Here are the results:
By Chimpy
As co-rulers,
they're not rough
Nor are their exteriors very gruff
They wrestle a lot
in the buff
And, poker's easy, cuz they can't bluff.
Writing with them
has been tough
My best is never enough
If it's not up to snuff
That's
when they start beating me
while laughing with glee
Once, they tied me to
a tree
Oh, how I wished to be free!
But, it wasn't meant to be
Then,
they kicked me in the jimmy
"I'll write better! You'll see!"
But,
there's more than just that:
They also call me "fat"
And berated
me 'til I shat
"Start writing better--STAT!!"
I might have
to get a "gat"
And, then take them to the mat.
Or, perhaps
use a bat.
All becuase I like to write
These evil geniuses are quite
Ruthlesslly
mean. That's right.
My haircut's a "high and tight"
Maybe I'll
just try to be polite
And write more pieces with all my might.
Then,
yell at a dog out of spite.
Writing with them is fun
And the party's
just begun
This shitty poem's number one
So get a McGriddle on the run.
Set
yoru fasers for "stun"
Oh shit! Janie's got a gun!
"So,
what's that you writin', hon?"
That is all. I'm now done.
Bigfoot:
Before and After Evil Robots
By Grandpa and Godzilla
We're seven
years old!
What's funny now, is ever.
Like poop and booger.
We're
seven years old!
Tie our own shoes, wait for the
Bus with the big kids.
We're
seven years old!
Older than you thought we'd be,
Jerks don't last, do they?
We're
seven years old!
Buy us candy and cupcakes!
Right now! We can't wait!
We're
seven years old!
We don't wet the bed no more!
Just our ladies, yeah!
We're
Seven years old!
Bee-Eff-Eff, fo sho'! No doubt!
We have secret names!
We're
seven years old!
Farting cracks us up. Big time.
Essential big sound.
We're
seven years old!
No wrinkles, no saggy butts.
No hair down there yet.
We're
seven years old!
It's late! Pack us a lunch, Mom!
Chocolate chip sammich!
