The Final Cover Letter


pleased to apply
exciting opportunity
As you can see, I am an ideal candidate
In my diverse educational and employment history
pleasant personality and diplomatic demeanor
I enjoy a high level of public interaction
research and organizational skills
precisely the skills you desire
combine my talents with my interests
I would be an asset to your team

Oh, let's just cut the crap.
I'm smart. Ask my references.
I'm motivated. Ask my references.
I want to apply my skills at work for once.
Let me do it. Call me.
Oh, also, I get along with people pretty well and don't believe in violence. So, I'm not any potential "disgruntled employee". No menace to society either.
Just give me the job that you & I know I'm capable of.
I'll be really happy.
You'll love me.
I'll make you banana bread.
C'mon....