As someone once said,
"The early bird gets the worm"
What? No McMuffin?

Thus goes the proverb:
"A fool and his money are
soon parted". No shit.

I still can't figure
out: "A stitch in time saves nine"
Now I gotta sew?

An ancient refrain:
"She loves me, she loves me not"
Now it's called "stalking"

A common saying:
"Early to bed and early
to rise...". Mmmm.... Sleepy...

Once upon a time,
"Bite off more than you could chew"
was not sexual

So the saying goes:
"A penny saved's a penny
earned". Keep on fucking.

D'You know what this means?
"Killing two birds with one stone"
A PETA housecall

Still don't get this one:
"Look at life through rose-colored
glasses". Why're they pink?

Whoever once said,
"Better to have loved and lost...."
never met my wife

I've also heard this:
"Don't count your chickens 'fore they've
hatched". Now I'm hungry.

It's better that you,
"Don't put all your eggs in one
basket". That'd be gross

I have once heard that,
"Two heads are better than one"
Is this gonna hurt?