For a million bucks:
Would you tongue-kiss a Great Dane?
Or, say, Bea Arthur?

For a million bucks:
Eat jelly beans wedged between
Roseanne's fat ass cheeks?

For a million bucks:
Would you lick the bathroom floor
at Union Station?

For a million bucks:
Run through Compton in blackface
screaming, "Where's Massah?"

For a million bucks:
Wrestle a poop-slinging ape
who's just had some crack?

For a million bucks:
Perform your best Strip-O-Gram
at a nursing home?

For a million bucks:
Star in a kid's show based in
Auschwitz or Dachau?

For a million bucks:
Smeared head to toe in honey,
seduce a brown bear?

For a million bucks:
Shave with a rusty razor
dipped in raw sewage?

For a million bucks:
Dress up like Brit royalty
asking to "knight" folks?

For a million bucks:
Eat whatever comes off of
a biker's hairbrush?