Football on Sundays
Win or lose, it's good Fall fun
Score, you bastards, score!

Football season norms:
Color TeeVee, beer, and chips
Hammered by halftime

Bone-jarring tackles
Helmets fly off; teeth shook loose
Make that extra point!

Turn down the TeeVee
Radio commentary
Screw you, Summerall

Nachos, beer, popcorn
Beer, reclining chair, and beer
Did I mention beer?

Defensive tackle
Linebacker; Kick returner
Quarterback: Football

Facemasked warriors
Highly-paid gladiators
Of course, they wear cups

This ain't Pee Wee ball
Putting their nuts on the line
Better them than me

Whooping, hollering
Cursing, crying, and cheering
Just watching football

Hometown football teams
So what if they suck clown ass?
Ravens and Redskins

Your weapon of choice
Miller High Life? Bud in cans?
Prepare for the game

Shoulder pads and cleats
Mouth guards, tight pants, and helmets
Hecht's on a weekend?