Mizu, kudesai
Hai. Amerikajin desu
Ikura desu ka?
(Water, please
Yes, I am an American
How much does this cost?)

Get a tight grip, now
There's lots of slots in Japan!
I mean, they gamble!

Comfy kimono
Long, black, silk Japanese robe
Woo! I feel a draft!

Shibuya is nuts
Area like no other
Tall Tower Records!

Sorry, Godzilla
The trains and subways are prompt
No time to jerk off

I wish it would stop
Just because I'm diaper-clad...
No! I don't sumo!

The Soaplands district
Teacher by day, pimp by night
We lather you good!

Driving on the left
Steering wheel on the right
Where's the turn signal?

Goddamn, Tokyo's big!
The coolest cell phones ever!
People "sleep" on trains!

Everyone's my height!
I'm not so out of place here
Except, I'm gaijin

Where drinking takes place
The hot spot is Roppongi
The puke wafts, airborne

Hypno-commercials
TV programs spawn seizures
Can't speak the lingo