A great way of life:
When in doubt, do the robot.
Live it and love it.

"Eat dingleberries!",
he shouted from the corner.
Lunatics are cool.

Shatner's a wack-job,
and to prove it, just watch this:
U.S. Iron Chef

When I stuff a bird
for Thanksgiving, I *really*
mean I stuffed that bird.

My bitch-of-a-boss
has no place being in charge
of even a rock.

Anytime is a
good time for a nice, cold beer.
Not while teaching, though.

Truly happy folk
sustain themselves with soda,
such as "Cherry Blast".

Truly angry folk
are bred by watching bad shows
which have CarrotTop.

My cussing haiku:
Goddamned, drag-ass, slack-cunted
motherfucking bitch.

"Face" from the "A-Team"
is just ask fucked-up as "Kirk",
a.k.a.- "Shatner".

I wanted to see
big words like "lugubrious"
used in a haiku.

Gold-encrusted "T":
I'm not the foo' you pity.
Don't do drugs! Drink milk!

Never forget these
words to live and to die by:
Beer solves all problems.

Defenestration;
you know you want to try it.
They bounce afterwards.

Monkey on my head.
I will dance the dance of joy
as poop hits my back.

"Cruzcampo": trash beer.
For all the rednecks of Spain,
it's the beer of choice.

Patrick Swayze films....
Please stop the "Dirty Dancers"!
Nothing else to watch?

Hot flight attendants.
They can't help it. They're Spanish.
Another drink, please.

Lee Van Cleef: Master,
with one of the 'Van Pattens'.
It had such promise....

Never watch the show
"Battle of the Network Stars"
for entertainment.

On Hollywood Squares:
"Jm. J. Bullock to block, please"
Now give me the pills.

Shame's poster child...
Emmanuel Lewis or
Rob Lowe be thy name?

Breakfast with a beer.
The invention that saved me.
Sweet Kegerator.

Booze and Depakote.
For breakfast, or whenever.
The key to success.

The teacher's credo:
"A Librium a day keeps
those bastards at bay."

More than meets the eye.
Canadian "Transformers"
movie has cussing!

Dialing blindly.
"Jack Mehoff or Pat Mcgroin?"
"Is your fridge running?"

Never too old to
enjoy a good boob or fart
joke. Grow up? Hell, no!

Incompetent boss.
unethical practices
will get your ass kicked.

What goes through my head,
as beer dribbles down my chin,
"What a great weekend."

Northern Virginia:
at least it's not Maryland.
Dumb Beltway Canucks.
(heh heh... sorry...)

My stupid cooze boss
couldn't manage a drive thru
much less a whole school.

I'm not asking much:
Just Thorazine in the lounge.
Most teachers need it.

?Qu? huele rico?
Panza llena de dolor
y de perritos.
Translation:
What smells so good?
Stomach full of pain
and of little dogs.
(There's a story behind this one. It's about Dog Tacos in Mexico)