Last-minute shopping
St. Nick up on your rooftop
Hand me that 12-gauge

Winter season trends
shopping, drinking on the rise
400 percent

Spin the clay dreidel
Burn the yule, light the candles
Extra-rummed eggnog

Tim Allen's Santa
Kelsey Grammer is St. Nick
Inexcusable

The real Three Wise Men
Come they not from far-off lands
Larry, Moe, and Curly

Thermometers drop
Dirty slush is cleared away
Put on the kettle

Holiday music
Local stations belt them out
24/7

My claymation friends
A Rankin-Bass production
Rudolph and Santa

Snow- and Heatmiser
Tall, toothy Winter Warlock
The stuff of bad dreams

Linus explains it all
Charlie and the gang look on
Christmastime is here

Swallow the fruitcake
Gather with friends, kith, and kin
Don't at the Ice Melt(R)

Home for vacation
Relatives and friends in town
Beer drinking goes up

Frost the cake, bake the pies
The turkey is succulent
Wine at 10 A.M.

Brick-hard fruitcake logs
Eight packs of socks and stiff slacks
Another bad yule

Look at all that trim
Rock around my Christmas tree
Unwrap my present

Booze makes my nose red
Reindeer flying high on bud
Rudolph's a hard drunk

In my neighborhood
Carolers demand hard drinks
'Course, they sing James Brown

Aunt Doris griping
Cousin Jimmy smokes a bowl
At least the weed's green

Candy canes, yule log