My Monkey

I have a monkey,

and I call him "Spunky".

My monkey, Spunky, does cool stuff,

With silly people, he plays real rough.

He makes the dummies wish they were dead,

he rubs feces all over their head.

My monkey acts real funny,

but he is still worth my money.

He likes to drink a whole lot of beer,

and then go stand in front of a mirror.

He dances,

he prances,

he barfs on the floor,

then pats his tummy and asks for more.

When my monkey gets real drunk,

he walks around thinking he’s a skunk.

He lifts his tail and shows you his ass.

Spray you he does, but it’s gas that does pass.

He goes to the park, and starts to eat fruit.

All the ladies gather ‘round and think it’s real cute,

until the drunk monkey bites ‘em on the tit,

and rolls on the ground, wallowing in his own shit.

My monkey, always drunk, likes to pee off the bridge.

Then, needing more beer, stagers towards the fridge.

My cute monkey, he likes to chew Skoal,

that just makes him more of an a-hole.

In public he spits.

In public he shits.

But I love that walking pile o’ krunk.

That funky monkey, he’s my Funky Chunk.