May 2001

Two Years All Up in There: A Retrospective
Our Second Anniversary

I remember the day when the seed was planted for www.evilrobots.com.

For nine or ten months prior to that day I had been writing a pages of script for a television show I wanted to make. I had over sixty pages of script written, but I was short on inspiration.

Sitting in our house, Godzilla and I talked about some none-sense or something, as we often would, when I told him that I was going to turn my TEEvee show script into prose. I wanted to put the story on the net. I also wanted to sell tee shirts that read: WHY DON'T YOU PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH. Really classy.

Godzilla, as I recall, worked out a few of the details with me. We called Dr. Sketchy over to the house for an official meeting. Godzilla always wanted to call a web site "evilrobots," and I wanted a web site. That week I purchased a computer.

Soon after that, on May 9th, 1999, we posted our evil genius for the first time.

In a nutshell, that is how it all went down.

* * *

In the two years as Editor in Chief, I have watched the site grow from a three-man show based out of a small town in a silly and meaningless state, into a site with influence spanning from Richmond to Boston, Montreal to Singapore. We did not plan on being the social force that we have become, but neither Godzilla nor I care to fight fate now, or any time in the future.

That is how www.evilrobots.com changed my life. Before the site, no aspect of my life gave me any indication of inherent greatness. The obscurity in my life up to that point nearly made me into a suburban ghost - a figure with no real identity. After two short years, my life is meaningful and rich.

* * *

An excerpt from the forthcoming translation of Kickin' Back, or What We Did on Our Summer Vacation by Grandpa and Godzilla (August 1997)

Editor's Note: This short piece was written nearly four years ago, two years before evilrobots.com was born. This is meant to show you how far we have come, and how true we have been to ourselves.

CHAPTER 1:

We needed a plan. Too much 'wasted' time in the previous nine months. We were in desperate need for something to define our approach to living.

We thought that maybe a fast paced life; action, fast cars, drugs, broads (Miami Vice style) - but those things complicate life too much.

We thought about complete and total relaxation - 100% laziness. But that would have made life too slow and boring. We needed to watch TEEvee, dammit!

Out of the blue, like a vision of the goddess in a bowling alley, there it was, our motto punching us in the back of the head - KICKIN' BACK!

When kickin' back, you are not sleeping, but you are not running. You are relaxing so hard that you get tired.

But how does one do this, you may ask. How does one afford this?

It is simple, so long as you are kickin' back, no job is too much for you to handle. Grandpa was a bartender and an office worker, and Godzilla was a short-order cook and office monkey. We never thought that we worked too hard because everything was always all right.

Kickin' back is a message to the brain. Kickin' back allows the brain to attain a state of rest and replenish itself for any and all tasks ahead. Kickin' back removes you from your hum-drum life into a world of mellow make-believe. Kickin' back follows the Law of Non-Complication which allow for no stress (there is enough in the world already,) and no deadlines (too many as it is.) In a nutshell, don't let the bastards get you down.