May 2001

How EvilRobots.com Has Changed My Life
Our Second Anniversary

When Godzilla had reminded me that it had been two years since evilrobots.com had arrived on the web, my first reaction was "How?" Not to say that I don't get my monthly shot of culture from this page (or my maximum kickin' back), but I guess I never thought it would make it this long. So I got to thinking "What's for breakfast?", but I figured I would write this first.

May/June 1999 - I am in New York, evilrobots.com arrives, I plan to move from the east coast to the great state of Wisconsin. I can't really say if there is a coincidence there, or perhaps I just needed to get faraway from ERI headquarters, but this was the case.

August 1999 - I move to Wisconsin, and all seems quite well with the world. I am comfortable, happy and drunk. Cheese and beer are plentiful. Wish you were here.

December 1999 - I move back to New York. Now here's where things get sketchy. I was happy in Wisconsin, and technically the only reason I was coming back here was so that I could make piles of money and move to England, hence moving me further away from ERI headquarters. But it's still a little weird that I would leave Wisconsin after such a short stay. And mind you, I read evilrobots.com every month I was there.

May 2000 - I move to England, evilrobots.com turns one. In England, I will learn to love cricket, warm beer and french fry sandwiches. Things will never ever be the same. (If a french fry sandwich sounds weird, imagine it with lots of butter and salt. Everything had butter in it, even the beer.)

August 2000 - I move back to New York. Circumstances were beyond ERI's control, but you never know.

May/June 2001 - I am still in New York.

So there you have it. How has evilrobots.com changed my life? Not one god stinking damn bit. I'm still in New York, still at home, still poor, still smelly, still funny-looking, still in school. As a matter of fact, you guys owe me.