September 2002

To War! To War! Freedonia is going to War!

There is something really pathetic about a 27 year old male getting nostalgic for a time just 12 years ago. Yes, he was 15-16 years old (what is considered by 50 year old males in convertible BMWs to be the best time of their lives). The first two years of what would become the Internet/Clinton/Booming 90s were, in retrospect, pretty shitty. I had the (mis)fortune to spend almost a quarter of my day commuting to and from school (which I had been doing for several years already), and during those Christmases, the amount of packages filled with Santa's handicraft dropped significantly. It was a real recession, no matter what pundits high on goofballs tell you now, and just being an outsider looking in… it was fairly miserable.

Before this education into economic cycles was something that I am now waiting for with both anticipation and dread-the boom in the yellow plastic string industry and the height of US consumer stupidity. I am not talking about the mass demonstration of supporting US troops in Iraq (for the record I was actively against that war), but the yellow fucking ribbons that sprang up everywhere overnight. Did anyone bother to actually listen to the words of that ditty from the 30's or 40's or 50's?:

I'm coming home I've done my time
And I have to know what is or isn't mine
If you received my letter
Telling you I'd soon be free
Then you'd know just what to do
If you still want me
If you still want me
Oh tie a yellow ribbon
'Round the old oak tree

So by putting a yellow ribbon on our tree we are equating our fearsome fighters for the American way of life as common criminals. Now I am not saying this is true, all I am doing is putting two and two together. I can only hope that this was done either in ignorance or someone in the governmental ad agency had a really sick sense of humor.

Which brings me back to nostalgia. As far as I remember, this country was all set for war. No matter what may say of George I of the Bush Dynasty, he really knew how to run a propaganda campaign. From innocent Martian's perspective this whole country was out to get Saddam Hussein. Between the images of Saddam and Hitler and those yellow fucking ribbons all over the place, this country was of one mind; Kill the Evil, a.k.a. Saddam. How could this man who gassed Iranians (which was kind of OK… they were bad… but they paid in cash which kept them from being evil) and the Iraqi Kurds (who the fuck were these guys?) invade a helpless, but very rich Kuwait that was created by British diplomats after World War I? Just how could Saddam do this, how evil can one person be? First gassing people, invading a small wealthy neighbor and finally sending oil to record highs. Thank god this was before SUVs or we may have to use those nukes…again.

But 12 years later, in the midst of the reign of George II, where is the propaganda machine? The month of August is a perfect time to get the propaganda machine running, there is absolutely nothing else going on. People are on vacations, watching reruns of Friends… just waiting for the next hot thing to happen. A war is perfect for that. But for any war to be successful the heart, mind, spirit, and balls of the population must be behind it. Without those four factors, Vietnam is not that far off in this smaller world of ours.

But where is this propaganda machine? There are no yellow ribbons and no one, except the honorable George II, Rumsfeld, Cheney, Rice, et.al. have been making Saddam into the next Hitler. I know that was, like, sooo 1990, but hey, this is what we must do if want to go to war with him again. Hearing George II talk about Saddam being evil is just not enough. If it was Ronald Wilson Reagan, than maybe he could talk the population into going to war. This man, despite his many, many faults, was charismatic and KNEW how to talk to a crowd and camera. George II reminds me of a second grade Christmas play, just wanting to play in the snow instead of standing on stage, forgetting lines and getting yelled at by teacher. This is not, I repeat, NOT the way to go to war.

Despite the fact that I really do not like this administration, I really wish they would do it right. This lack of preparation just says they don't care about getting America behind them. Rumsfeld's smarmy arrogance oozes out of him at every single press conference (which is why I have stopped watching them) and it permeates the entire administration. But there is a bright side… according to the right wing fundamentalist's favorite book, the Bible:

Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.
Proverbs xvi. 18

Oh how we can only wish.