October 2004

Buzzsaw Asks: Vote, You Assholes!

Buzzsaw Asks: Who you voting for?

Bigfoot
I am absolutely voting for John Kerry. Why? No, not just because he's not Dubya, but because he really would be good for the country...especially considering the current crises - economic, international, and Constitutional. Sure, I may be more progressive in my ideals than John Kerry is in practice, but we need practical solutions right now - not my hippie idealism.

Grandpa
I already voted by absentee. It's too late to stop me, jerk.

It's none of your business who I voted for, so I'll just say that I did not vote for Bush. He's been a terrible President, and it's time for a new President. If you vote for Bush, you are a fool. That is, unless you are one of those single-issue anti-abortion types. If that is the case, you are ignorant AND a fool. (Seriously, it's not that important. Get over yourselves.)

Godzilla
Jesus, Grandpa, you're such an uptight gaylord honkey butthole. People who say "it's none of your business" probably voted for somebody like David Duke or Big Bird. Who I vote for is everyone's business, because they should vote exactly the same way. I've also already voted by absentee, because DC government cannot read checked boxes, apparently. But at least I'll be totally free to get drunk and arrested on Novermber 2. At any rate, everyone's ballot should reflect the following as much as possible:
President of the United States: John Kerry
Delegate to US House: Eleanor Holmes Norton
DC "Shadow" Representation: Adam Eidinger
(That's right, we represent a shadow congressional delgation, since we have no vote. And I voted DC Statehood/Green Party over some rich white democrat from Chevy Chase. Ward 1 is where it's at.)
DC City Council At-Large: Kwame Brown (cuz Carol Schwatz is a man)
DC Board of Education, D1: Kennan Keller

Pixie
In all seriousness, I am voting for Kerry because I want to stay in the United States. If Bush wins, I'm moving to Canada.

Chimpy
I may abstain from voting this year, since I'm not content with any of the posible candidates. I will most likely vote for myself and be done with it. I know I have better policies and certainly more brains than any of those guys put together. I just don't have the patience or the time, what with my crocheting class and dog-walking business.