Let me let you in on a little secret, my friends. Here it is: whenever in doubt, do the robot. This is a universal truth. It solves all problems.

Consider:

• If you need someone to go away- start doing the robot. This will confuse the person and they will promptly walk away.

• If you need some exercise- do the robot. For several hours. Added bonus: after long enough you might start to think that you are a robot, and what could better than that?

• If you are under considerable stress- do the robot. This will help you work through your anger and so forth by reminding you to strive to be like a robot.

• Doing the robot helps you study. It also helps you get could grades. Do the robot in class since everybody, including the teacher, knows that robots are the smartest. If they don't think that you actually are a robot, it still might make them think that you know robots, and that should definitely impress them.

• Doing the robot at parties will make you the most popular person there, since everybody likes robots.

• If you are doing the robot at work it shows that you are busy. If you are busy the boss won't make you do more work.

I like to do the robot in my office when nobody is looking. It makes me a champ. So whenever you experience a moment of doubt, just do the robot. This will also let the people around you know that you are either incredibly focused or incredibly confused, and therefor you should not be bothered.

Wait a minute- "Doing the robot" could possibly the dirties phrase ever.

I must figure out exactly what it could mean. Hold on, I think it's this ambiguity that makes it so wonderfully filthy sounding. Everything that I've just said could be recipe for disaster. Nice.

Dr. Jenkins says I have to go lie down on my cot now.

End of line.