Now that Bill Clinton is a lame duck president he has some freedom to more openly express himself, as well as experiment a little with presidential method. Bill Clinton has the power to try out new ways of governing without suffering at the polls at all, since he cannot be re-elected. So as long as anything he does is nice and legal- well he can do about anything he wants. I encourage President Clinton to take a few risky shots at redefining the way government works. I would like to take this opportunity to outline a possible, and might I add beneficial, course of action.

I feel that Bill Clinton can make his life a lot easier- and the nation more powerful at the same time. During encounters with the press (like press conferences and appearances on Larry King and so on) he needs to open by coming out, after being introduced, and loudly proclaim "Aaaaaeeey!" and give the double thumbs up- ala Fonzie. This would win everyone over and we would just go along with whatever he said (since he would obviously be cool). He could wear a leather jacket, but that is not really needed. And if, for some reason, he is being asked tough questions or something, he could just bang the podium and made a cool face, or snap his fingers. This would at least distract people, if not solve problems. If the president rode a motorcycle he would then have sufficient power to fix things by snapping. This would make America twice as good as before.

Also, if Pinky Tuscedaro were to become Secretary of Defense, no nation or rouge terrorist faction would every want to mess with the USA again.

As one can clearly see from the obvious fact that this plan is right and correct, that television is not strictly a negative influence. Sure, there may be a lot of nay-sayers out there who feel that such a course of action might make us look like a nation of retards in the eyes of the worlds. But these people obviously don’t watch much TV. Nor have they traveled abroad. Everybody who has traveled to another country knows that everybody in the world emulates American culture (except maybe the middle east). Therefore the rest of the world would realize that any nation that is lead by a man as cool as Arthur "Fonzie" Fonzarelli is not to be crossed, lest they be destroyed.

As for the middle east problem- the CIA simply needs to use its satellites to beam "Happy Days" to every television set in the world. Once the entire world realizes how cool Fonzie is, and in turn our President is- then, and only then will the entire world truly embrace democracy. However, there will be some hard-line fundamentalists who will resist the incredibly cool powers of our leader. This is why the President must challenge the Fonz to some sort of competition- a "cool off" if you will. The President must brutally humiliate, and possible maim and/or kill- then possibly devour- the Fonz in the ensuing competition. With that final act, the United States will have completely fulfilled our manifest destiny to spread democracy and the American way of life across the globe.

The world would enter a period of peace and prosperity lasting a thousand years- at least.

That would be so cool.