It’s Interesting Because it Happened to Me
A chronicling of the stupid things I’ve done

Learn from my mistakes. Or not.

1. When I was 7 I cracked my head open on a cigarette machine at a bowling alley doing somersaults.
   
2. When I was 20 I got an M&M stuck up my nose. I smashed it to smithereens all over the inside of my nostril trying to dig it out. All this happened during class as a prestigious institution of higher learning.
   
3. When I was 23 I forgot to put oil in my car.
   
4. When I was 16 I almost fell off a mountain because I was running down it.
   
5. When I was nine I burned my hand by trying to get a rock out of a recently extinguished fire. A 2 inch blister resulted. It exploded on the bathroom door.
   
6. When I was 17 a high-powered golf cart I was riding shotgun in flipped over on top of me. Much skin was removed from my leg.
   
7. When I was 22 I drove my car into a ditch. That taught me a valuable lesson about paying attention.
   
8. When I was 20 I drove over 7,000 miles in 14 days with two Evil Robots staffers. The stupid part is that we drove coast to coast and yet only drove for about a mile on the Pacific Coast Highway.
   
9. When I was 23 I co-founded this website. You can see the results.
   
10. When I was 22 I fell asleep in my car and woke up covered in vomit. I assume it was my own.
    
11. From the ages of 18 to 20 I did not have cable. I felt like a social outcast.
    
12. When I was 6 I did a face plant on cement as a result of a botched bike jump. Blood was pouring out of my nose. It was so cool.
    
13. When I was five I gave myself the "best hair cut ever" as the result of getting a Stomper (batter-powered truck) stuck in my hair. I proudly displayed my forehead as a trophy for months.
    
14. When I was 5 I colored socks onto my feet with a blue magic marker.
    
15. When I was 9 I tested the cigarette lighter in Dad’s car on my finger because it didn’t get all red and hot looking at 3 PM.
    
16. When I was 18 I stayed awake for 18 hours and THEN drove 1000 miles to Miami.
    
17. When I was 16 I told my sister she missed "Learning to Read Day" when she missed her first day of kindergarten (not stupid, but funny).
    
18. When I was in high school I didn’t beat up the Math Team.
    
19. When I was 22 I received a degree in Philosophy and several other useless fields. I could have bought several Porsche's with that much money.
    
20. When I was 6 I tore much of the cool sail boat wall paper off of my walls and then tried to re-paste it with boogers.
    
21. When I was 23 I put this sticker on my car.
    
22. When I was 12 I decided that I would not be going to Harvard. I let math kiss my ass for the following 10 years.
    
23. When I was 14 I was caught setting paper on fire in the basement because I was bored.
    
24. When I was 20, LuTron and I bought 20 cans of Spiderman Spaghetti-O’s and ate them all straight out of the can in a matter of days. Actually cooking Spaghetti-O’s is for sissies.
    
25. When I was 20 I make a public prefession of faith to the Supreme Commander of the Universe- a lamp post that I threw a road cone on top of. Many saw the light and joined The Order.

Obviously, over the course of my life I have fallen on my head numerous times. That’s the only explanation I can think of for admitting to these things. I've left lots out here- a result of a very tiny quantity of shame, extreme laziness, and so many blows to the head.