June 2003

Grandpa Went to a Concert
Polyphonic Spree with Corn Mo

This is not a music review. No, it's an event review. There is a difference.

On Wednesday, June 11th, Bigfoot and I went to the 9:30 Club in Washington, D.C. to see the Polyphonic Spree. As you people already know, I love the Polyphonic Spree. Since last October, I've waited for the Spree to come to the East Coast. Well, come they did, and they rocked way super hard. I can't describe the feeling I got hearing their beautiful songs live for the first time. It was pure bliss.

The most wonderful surprise that evening was our discovery of the long-haired, accordion playing super-human named Corn Mo (www.cornmo.com). I don't know where he comes from, he claims to be from Denton, Texas, but that may have been one stop on his wild ride thus far. But really, whatever, we liked him a whole lot.

He is a heavy set dynamo with long blonde hair. He stands on the stage like a super-sonic cross between Bret Michaels, Tiny Tim and "Weird" Al, but he sounds like none of them. Also, I bet he has a huge schlong. He must.

His voice kinda sounds like the lead singer from STYX, Dennis DeYoung (the one with the big-ass afro you see sometimes on Behind the Music), but not a bit like Meat Loaf, as one may assume by just looking at him. At times, if I closed my eyes, I could see him in a huge band, playing in a huge arena in 1979.

Anyway, he played a number of his tunes for the growing crowd at the 9:30. As well as singing and playing the accordion, he accompanied himself with half a snare drum which he beat with a drum-stick jammed in his shoe. The crescendo's in his songs felt way bigger than the tiny little drum kit he had.

He sang about going to the mall with his eight grade girlfriend, and watching Tee-vee, and the time his brother's friend peed on this kid and that kid cried. Sure, they sound like poor subject material, but they work - trust me, they work.

All in all, I thought the show was fantastic. He puts on the kind of show every individual would every dream of in their youth. He is a super charged one man show, but not in that off-Broadway kind of way. He rocks in a Tenacious D or a (D.L. Roth era) Van Halen.

If you want to know more about Corn Mo, you should, because he is wicked cool. Here is an example of how cool he is from his book of poetry:

Fifteen years ago I was waiting for a bus.
Fifteen years later I watched "24". It's awesome.
If you could see me now. I've really changed. I can
do some damage. I bet you still like "No Jacket
Required."

Word. That concert was really great, and I hope to catch him the next time he goes in and out of the DC area. I'll bring you with me.