September 2001

Justy's Musical Cavalcade

I am still suffering from a severe lack of cashage, but I manage to find scraps here and there to write this monthly madness. This month, I shall expound on the problem with everybody, and my adventures at the Radiohead show in Boston on 14 August.

THE PROBLEM WITH EVERYBODY:

I have been going through some personal issues with the rest of the world of late, and had to do some serious thinking on just what the hell is going on. What I figured out first is that I hate everybody. Not constantly, but on first impression. I guess I am far too evolved to relate to the masses (Evil Robots staff notwithstanding, all of whom are a little slice of heaven on earth). As I traced these feelings deeper, I figured that this all relates to my adventures in music, but in particular to the various music "scenes." Let us examine the facts together:

Punk Rock/Hardcore: I was involved in this scene for a few years back in high school/early college, mostly because I was (am) a big dorkus. Kids like me were made for that scene. Problem is, I never bought into the fashion/ideals of the scene wholesale, I was really into the music and playing out. Then I found out that my musical tastes/fashion weren't exactly "punk/hardcore" enough, so I was more of a dorky outcast in a scene full of dorky outcasts. Oh yeah, it is not possible to be "punk enough." No matter how "punk" someone thinks themselves to be, someone else can top it. This scene is filled to the brim with kids who are more concerned with the height of the mohawk, the band names they can drop, or the patches on their jacket/bag. It's basically the fraternity/sorority scene, but with fewer showers.

Hippies: Ugh. The sad part is that I probably share many ideals with these kids, but I don't twirl in circles and listen to songs that are 25 minutes long. They only songs of length that are acceptable are "Inna-Gadda-Da-Vida" by Iron Butterfly, Coltrane's version of "My Favorite Things", or classical works. These pieces at least go somewhere, Phish songs do not. And speaking of this hippie plague, what is it with these kids and the overuse of the word "funk"? The only funk at hippie shows belongs to the dirty-ass kids in the crowd, cause it sure ain't in the music. If you are a hippie, you can not use the word "funk". You have nothing in common with James Brown/George Clinton/the Meters/etc., except that you all probably smoke mad weed. Hippies also take fewer showers than even punk rock kids.

Nu-Metal: We're talking the Limp Bizkit kids here. You are not metal, you are not rap, you are a horrendous joke which claims to be both, but can not be either. Umm…the metal kids I remember when I was growing up would kick your whiny asses up and down the block with nothing but their mullets and a cigarette.

Frat Rockers: The Dave Matthews crowd, but these guys show up in all scenes, looking to act like drunken assholes under any circumstances. They are known to sit around with acoustic guitars and try to act deep. They start mosh pits at all times, even at Bob Dylan shows. They like to fight too, some sort of wacked-out penis envy type aggression. These people are generally the assholes who piss everyone off at any event.

OK, that's a sampling anyway, but it pretty much sums up my local music experiences. It may be unfair of me to hate everyone, but I don't get much of a reason to like many people, the way they all lump into crowds these days. Thinking in a collective can be quite dangerous, and scary. I only take heart that the great number of these people, no matter what they think themselves to be, will end up behind a desk someday, pushing papers, whilst I am off doing whatever. The lesson to be learned here? I may sound bitter, but I'm probably right on target. I'll stand by my beliefs until someone can prove me otherwise. That's just the elitist boob I am.

MY RADIOHEAD ADVENTURE:

Well, no adventure really. I drove to Boston, picked up Matt Lucca and some friends of his, and we went. There were crappy opening bands, but Radiohead played for nearly 2 ½ hours and rocked the hell out of the 40,000+ fans that showed up. They are one of the better live acts I have ever seen, not so much for the showmanship but just because every song was just right on point. Lots of energy and huge sound. That's about it. Go see them if you ever get the chance.