September 2001

I Am Drunk

I have been drinking for the past several hours, because I figured it was a good idea. It always seemes like a good idea at the time, doesn't it? It's just me and the house, and a little bit of beer that I bought. Now here I am, one in the AM hour, pooping out words like they are as meaningless as they really are. Huh? Anyway, I am certified drunk, as certified by me.

Stop laughing at me. Any speeling mistakes that I make are myh responsibility and not yours, so just be quiet. You have no right to laugh, idiot. I still have a bunch of beer left to drunk before I go to bed. Sports are kinda pointless.

Why is there preseason football? That is really dumb. Pepole always get injured. Injuries are bad.

I wish I didn't hate everyone, but it's hard not to hate everyone. People are really stupid, constantly. If the Rangers trdae for Eric Lindros, I will be mad. The Mets stink.

My friend Jared is in this band, they are rfeally good. I bet they will be rock stard sopmebay. I will be a rock star too, because I have too. Pork rinds are really gross. If you eat prok rinds, you probably live in the south.

I finished schoool tonight. I have to go back to school in two weeks. School is a big ole waste of my time. If we all went to school, I would be out of a job. And if I was out of a job, all hell would break loose. Video games are a good idea.

Wait a second. Why is everyone so horrible? What the hell is the deal with people? People are bad. Bad baD BAD BAD BA bdda bad.

[DELETED] is godzill, [DELETED] is grandpa. If they are at the pig roadst, then you will know.

I bneedd to finish this pint. Off on the road this mornign. please tell your nieghbor to hug them. Goo hnigh5.

Editor's Comment
While some people find drunkenness and bad spelling to be wrong, we here at Evil Robots do not. In fact, we here at Evil Robots encourage late night drunken ranting. Writing while Drunk got us through college, and even today helps us manage the world in which we live. We would also like to remind our reads that we are at the forefront of intoxicology, as demonstrated in our ground breaking case study on the effects of scotch.

In Vino Veritas? Hell Yes!