September 2001

Limerick Contest Winners

Last month we announced our first contest here at Evil Robots. This was our Dirty Limerick Contest. The rules were simply- the entry must be a dirty limerick about either robots or the internet. We received a great number of entries, but most of them didn't follow the rules. We got plenty of dirty limericks, but most of their authors didn't bother to comply with, or possibly bother to read, the part of the rules about robots and the internet. Do we tossed all of these away. Except for one, which we liked so much we had to publish. We also received several haiku, which obviously didn't comply with the rules. We also tossed those out, except for one.

So, Evil Robots is proud to announce our first contest winner ever: Taylor H, of Alexandria, VA. And now the winning entry:

Grand Champion
There once was a Cylon submissive,
With a lady so cruelly derisive,
His "by your command"
Earned the back of her hand,
A harsh Top she was, but permissive.

First Runner-Up
A young talking car they called KITT,
Was engaged in a love most unfit,
When his charming lovebug
Gave his transmission a tug
He cried, "Herbie, m'love, won't you kiss it?"

Second Runner-up
There once was a kinky old Cylon
Whose fetish happened to be Nylon.
He littered the 'Net,
With pics of him wet
But only attracted geeks quoting Monty Python.

NON COMPLIANT HONORABLE MENTIONS

An admirer of the great Charlie Mingus,
An adept at the craft cunnilingus,
While eating his peach,
Fell into the breach,
Was consumed from his head to his dingus.
--Taylor H., Alexandria, VA

Internet at night....
Not a chance I'm wearing pants.
Is that robot porn?
--Justin C., Annandale, VA