September 2003

Who Need Electricity?

NEW YORK- It's Thursday at 4pm and I'm doing work on the computer, the intern comes over and drops a phone book on my desk and at just that moment the power went out. I looked right to her.

"Whadya do!?"

We hear a couple shrieks from the other side of the office. Everyone's lost power in the office. Nothing's saved.

The power went out in my office, and like everything else, I blamed it on the intern. she's become my bitch. I guess it's bitterness towards the office and she's just the poor chump that sits closest to my mouth.

All the lights are out in the buildings across the street.

"I didn't do ANYTHING!"
"Well you did something!"

My boss is in a great mood so he said not to touch anything, let's all go to the Harvard Club and get drunk, my treat.

It goes without saying this is a great man.

Walking onto the streets in midtown was surreal. In the beginning, it was no more packed than usual, but it was packed with people without a destination. Everyone wandering, trying to use cell phones, staring up at the eerily dark Empire State Building. It's sort of a barometer for the State of New York. If your in Midtown, from any direction, look up. If you can't see the top of it. it's cloudy. If it's lit red, it's Valentine's Day. If it's completely dark, shit's going down!

Heading to 55th st. we passed the Motherload of Chaos. Times Square. By this time streets were jam-packed, cars couldn't squeeze through the mobs of people. It was like one of those photos of New Delhi in National Geographic. Lines formed at pay phones and street lights were out.

The not-so-cool side of my boss compelled him to wear a hot pink shirt to work today. It went to good use spotting him through the mobs.

So we went and got drunk. very drunk. He confessed that he is soon going to appear on 5 queer guys show. he's getting a makeover by 5 gay guys. Hooo - that got me in a fit of giggles!

But then it was time to go home. And that's when I realized this city and my life is completely run on electricity. This city more than any other. Suddenly, the cash-free society that is my wallet, sucks. My ATM cards and credit cards were useless. As was my metrocard. And my cell. Now it's dark and I see mobs of heads around mine, but below that, I see nothing. I hit something and fall. And I'm down for the count. I'm okay, but I want out. Home! Home!

Home is 70 blocks away in a rapidly rotting fish cave called Chinatown. I find another man heading downtown and share a cab.

The next two days is great in all it's eerie quietness.

Take Manhattan, subtract the general humm of electricity and snap - it's an island again. The next morning we heard seagulls.

Outside, stores are all closed. no one is on a cell. radios aren't blasting. A car is on and everyone is crowded to hear the radio announcements. Not a terror attack. That's all I needed to hear. So we keep foraging for food. It's New York. We don't cook. So we check for pizza parlors.

At night we heard crickets.

Two days later the power came back on with shouts and hoots of fanfare.

It's just like they said about that last blackout in the 70's. when we wanted to watch tv, we had sex instead. When we got hungry, we had sex instead. so here I am, thin, tired, and sexed out.

Blackouts are awesome.