August 2004

Pig Roast Event Review: A Summary

My older brother hosted his Eight Annual Pig Roast in Upstate New York again this August. As usual, there were many pounds of pig, kegs of beer, and the worlds best sausage. Unlike most years, it rained like a bastard all morning, and into the afternoon. The rain kept most of the regular crowd away, but Evilrobots, Inc. staff did not let the rain keep them from the excellent food and drink.

My darling wife, Bigfoot, and I arrived at my brother's house early Friday evening from our vacation in Canada. That vacation was wicked awesome. We basked in the sun, and swam in clean, fresh water, for five straight days. However, we did not bring the sunshine with us from the Great White North. No, we came with the rains. We set up our tent just as the first big deluge soaked the ground. We retired to my parent's house for some dinner and a shower.

Godzilla and Mr. Joshua showed up before midnight. The rain stopped for about five minutes to allow them to set up their tent. After getting them settled, Mr. Joshua and I hustled over to the Stewart's for a 12-pack of Molson. The remainder of the evening was spent on my brother's porch telling ethnic joked and smoking cigarettes.

It rained all damn morning. Parts of the lawn turned into mud-puddles. Tiny rivers in the grass ran through the beer and food tent. The small group people sat in that tent drinking Guinness and eating Doritos at 10:30AM. The day began cold and bleak.

After Noon, the rain subsided slightly, and we carted out the plated, napkins and utensils in anticipation of a small but dedicated crowd of Pig Roasters expected to arrive some time after 1PM. While the rain did stop, the clouds hung low and gray over the party. Three beers into the day by Noon, we waited for the fun to arrive.

By and by, a decent crowd of dedicated attendees joined us under the giant white tent (the one with a river flowing in it.) Pop, beer and snacks were ingested between greetings and laughs. My Uncle (Dad's older brother) held court at one table (See WIRE Story), while crowds gathered around the cooking pig, stealing a glance at the chunks of beast as it smoked and dripped on it's way to juicy perfection.

The Sun eventually came out. The Pig meat was pulled and sliced. Soon after we eat, Schlomo and Left arrived (See WIRE Story) showed up unexpectedly. Their attendance breathed life into the approaching evening.

By sunset, a decent crowd had gathered, and the sun warmed us all a little bit. Pig Roast, THE DAY, had been salvaged from the mud and grayness. Pig Roast, THE NIGHT, brought the beginning of a bonfire, and the end of two kegs of beer. Some hardy folks remained under the tent, talking genealogy and politics while fighting off the encroaching mosquitoes. Eventually, everyone gathered around the bonfire for conversation, musical interludes, and a winning Senator Gronk Junior Achiever Award performance (see AWARD article.)

While not being the best Pig Roast ever, it was alright. Sure, it was too cold to skinny-dip, but I spent the previous week swimmin' nekkid up in Canada in daylight, so I wasn't missing anything. The Pig, both pulled pork and pork loin, tasted excellent, and, honestly, that's what it's all about.