October 2004

Baseball's Army of Communists: Freedom Haters and Enemies of Competition

As much as I hate to say it, I'm happy the Yankees lost to the Red Sox this week. Had the Yankees beaten the Sox (like usual), I would have heard the annual rants of the Boston faithful about Steinbrenner. There is nothing more boring than the whining of Red Sox fans. Frankly, it's pathetic.

Unfortunately, for my purposes, it is better that the Sox fans tasted some victory against the Yankees this year. I wanted to find out if they remained as ardently communist in victory as they are in loss.

For the last few years, living in Baltimore, and then in Red Sox country, the coming of October also meant the heralded the impending arrival of the neo-socialist rantings of the loser team's fans.

"This happened because the Yankees buy all the good players!"

…or,

"Steinbrenner buys the Series every year, so no one else has a chance!"

…and other such nonsense. When I remind them that "there's always next year" I get an earful of crap about the Yankees buying more players.

These conversations always deteriorate into a debate about the pros and cons of a salary cap. Apparently, baseball will be more competitive if the players possible earnings are stymied. I can think no better incentive for a person to succeed in a sport that generates billions of dollars every year than being told that after hitting 40 homers and 130 RBI's that you have to become a Brewer if you want to get paid your fair market value. For the Boston faithful, it's a perfectly reasonable incentive.

Where did this hatred for the capitalist economy go? When did we decide that in sports, while owners can make as much money as they like, the players - the men who people come to see play at the stadiums - should have their earning potential tethered tightly to the ground?

My theory is that the fans of loser teams are counting on a salary cap in baseball to end their suffering. This week, however, I was proven wrong. It appears that this feeling is so strong that it cannot be hindered by the joy of victory. Victory, apparently, is no match for freedom hating communism.

The day after the Yankees were vanquished by the Red Sox, I asked the happy fans in my midst about the prospects for the following year. "The Yankees will buy all the good players," they cry, "and we'll have to pick up the scraps."

I guess Boston will not sign any of their free agents? "No, they will re-sign some, but Boston cannot spend money like the Yankees." Is that true? Then what's that $130 million payroll of Boston's? Is that the best they can do? Are they on some kind of rich person's welfare? Boo-freakin-hoo.

Boston fans cannot accept that they have become what they hate the most - a big spending team made up of free agents, traded players, and smartly re-signed farm-system products. Who'd have thunk it - one needs to spend money to build a competitive team? Spending money is one way to build a winner in this world. It's terribly sad, I know, but it is true.

The Red Sox Nation, unfortunately, can hardly bear it.

But victory is not about money. Victory is achieved on the field. The Red Sox beat the Yankees because they were the better team this year. That's what happened when the Yankees played the Marlins last year, the Angel's the year before that, and the Diamondbacks the year before that. A better team will find the ways to win, as well as avoiding the pitfalls that lead to a loss. Building a 'team to beat the Yankees' is a different scenario every year, and sometimes the Yankees do the work for you.

But for the Sox fans, that's beside the point. As neo-communists, they would prefer a payroll system that prevents EVERY team from making necessary improvements in the post-season to propel their team to victory in October. With a salary cap, each team would be forced to spend within pre-set limits. If a certain player has a good year, instead of re-signing that player, the team would have to choose between him and a number of other players who would be traded or released to stay under the cap. This system is preferable to the current system, I suppose, because teams are penalized for their success instead of benefiting from it. That makes sense to me. I'm sure the fans will be ecstatic.

I often wonder why sports fans accept this system? Are they bigger fans of the owners (who can make as much as they like) or do they resent the players for their success? What of other industries in which there is no salary cap, like film, television or music. The fans of these industries would be delirious with anger if a labor agreement put a cap on the salaries of a show like 'Friends' or 'Law and Order'.

What would happen to 'King of Queens' if CBS had a per-show salary cap? After the first two years, when Kevin James was resigned to a huge per-episode contract, the producers would have been forced to trade Jerry Stiller to UPN to stay under the cap. Who would like that? Kevin James and the fans of 'King' would be confused when Eddie Griffin appeared on the tee-vee as Arthur (and don't get me started about why Stiller does not belong on the cast of 'Girlfriends'.) But, if it's good enough for sports….

As it turns out, people don't care. Why should they? In the NFL, coming into the final week of the season, 75% of the teams are 8-7 or 7-8. Isn't manufactured mediocrity great?

Apparently, it beats having to build the best team possible (or, the prospect of seeing a team in 100 wins again.) Just throw whoever you got on the field every day and hope for the best. Who needs confidence?

At the heart of it all, this is about Freedom. You cannot have freedom if you live in a box. You're not free if you're family chains you to the fence in the backyard. You are not free if cannot sell your product to every possible buyer in the market. In all of those cases, you are restricted, not free. That's no way to live. Why bother trying to be great if you cannot be free? I just don't know.

As I look on the Boston Red Sox fans, as well as their fair weather Yankee-hating commie friends, basking in the warm glow of success, I can see the future of American sports. The freedom-hating communists (you can even call them Economic Terrorists if you're bold) are going to win. Say good-bye to baseball as you know it. No more dynasties. No more teams-of-the-decade. We'll see nothing more than a long line of teams of the year. Hooray for progress!

But, I'm not a total skeptic (after all, I AM an ever-hopeful Mets fan), and Freedom is on the march in America. Boston's fifteen free agents will be scattered across the baseball landscape this post season (because the Red Sox DO NOT sign free agents like the hated YANKEES.) Those men will start next season in a new city with new teammates and the promise of a return to October glory.

This is no dream. We can preserve the great American pastime and freedom for every baseball player. To do so, you must call each and every communist salary-cap supporter what they truly are - a hater of freedom. Do not let their gospel of restriction and mediocrity go unchallenged. Stand up for what is right. Stand up for freedom!

EDITOR'S NOTE: Godzilla maintains that Yankee fans are a bunch of arrogant and self-entitled pricks, and that they can all go to hell.