July 2002

Justy's TeeVee Memorandum
On The Tube

Ok, I've got a few things to talk about this month, and none of them are on cable. I have no cable in the Boston office, although a relocation to the New York office will get my cable back.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED FROM TEEVEE'S AMERICAN IDOL:

I recall quite a bit from the British version Pop Idol, and all the rantings about "Mr. Nasty," Simon Cowell. In the UK, a guy like Simon is pretty much par for the course, if not a little bit over the top at times. But in the US, Simon is WAAAY too much to handle. Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson have blown their tops over Simon berating contestants for their suckiness, and used lines like "These kids work so hard," or "This is America, and America is all about effort. You can't tell American kids that they stink, because they try hard." I have learned that effort and trying hard and still sucking means that somebody sucks. You can't stop sucking just because you try hard! Suck it up America! You American Idol kids should take the criticism and like it. It's the most exposure most any of these kids will ever see, ever. Bravo to Simon for letting the little bastards have it.

What I've also learned is that American Idol sucks, and I want cable back.

WHY I HATE ALL TEEVEE ADVERTISEMENTS, MOSTLY:

A Jaguar commercial featuring The Clash's "London Calling?" Is this some sort of sick joke? What the hell is wrong with Joe Strummer? That, and the return of the stupid Pets.com hand puppet selling car loans. What the fuck?

On the other hand, there is this great Mr. T ad where he does a Sigmund Freud accent and says "Very interesting." It's for some loan consolidation company. Awesome. Mr. T has range.

Why is Space Ghost shilling for Nestea with that god damned snowman? Advertising stinks.

WHY THE BASIC TEEVEE AT THE BOSTON HOME OFFICE RULES:

Simpsons reruns four times a day. I get three different Fox channels from around New England, and different episodes every time. Can't get that in the New York office.

On the other hand, so many MASH reruns every day as well. I don't dislike MASH, but it's a lot like the Flintstones. I just can't watch it.

Also, I miss the newly configured non-Baby Blues Adult Swim. I watched Home Movies for the first time in probably three months last night, and damn was it funny.

That's it for now. I'm getting back to the New York office pretty soon, to be inundated with the glorious cable of old. And in between, vacation somewhere. I need vacation before I get back to doing all the nothing that I used to do.