This month's column is going to be more about what's between the shows than it is about the shows themselves. I'm gonna write about all those "malt-beverage" commercials on Tee-Vee these days. You have seen them - don't lie to me. Bacardi, Zima, Sky Blue, Captain Morgan, Smirnoff and the rest: It seems that I can't watch a single tee-vee show without seeing a commercial for a malt-beverage.

I remember back in high school when Zima first hit the shelves. My friends and I purchased a six'er of Zima for to test it. It not only looked like a girl drink, but it tasted like a girl drink. It was bubbly and a bit fruity, but not very good. We never bought another Zima. If we wanted to get girls drunk, we always had wine coolers. We liked wine coolers. Girls would drink them, and any leftovers were good "hair of the dog" for the day after.

Now don't let the commercials fool you, malt-beverages are not for guys to drink. NO! They are made specifically because girls need a little encouragement to take their clothes off, and fruity drinks that disguise their destructive qualities do the trick real good. But for some strange reason, these drinks are being pitched like Bud and Miller were in the 70's and 80's.

I remember my childhood days watching the Saturday Game of the Week on NBC, and between innings, the beer commercials were filled with dumb guys and hot, nearly naked women fawning all over them. Ahh…those were the good old days. Nowadays, beer (save Coors Light's new ad campaign) is about slogans and catchphrases - not blatant sexual messages. But now, these companies are going after the males like it's 1985 or something. I keep expecting to see Bob Euker pop into the screen and say, "I must be in the front row!"

So I watch the malt-beverage people sell their wears to guys, particularly Zima and Smirnoff Ice. These two turkeys tell you that the kind of girl who drinks their beverage is a fun and excitingly slutty girl. Sure, after three or four bottles that may be the case, but that is the case with all good booze.

What baffles me is why they think that men would want to be seen in public drinking these malt-beverages. The guy might as well be drinking a white wine spritzer. There is nothing manly, sexy or smart about drinking Zima. If anything, drinking a Zima tells others that you are easy duped by Tee-vee ads and that people should try to steal your wallet.

I applaud the drink companies for their efforts. As you may already know, by placing a hard-liquor company's label on drinks for young people (see under-21), they can build brand loyalty, which is very important. Some day soon, the 19 year olds who drink Sky Blue and Captain Morgan malt-drinks will want something stronger, or more mature, and they may order a stronger drink from their favorite drink company.

One company missing from the malt-bev frenzy is Absolut, but they don't need to sell girl drinks. They already have their famous line of magazine ads that attract potential consumers years before they can drive.

Don't get me wrong, I am not opposed to booze companies competing for consumers. That's a lot of fun for me. What I am appalled by is the disregard for masculinity by these companies. Neither men nor boys should be encouraged to drink such things in public. If it happens to one man, it happens to us all.

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HBO is kicking it again with its new series, The Wire. Filmed in Baltimore, the series follows the exploits of one police officer and his special unit of rejects as they attempt to put an end to a burgeoning drug ring in the city. Each week the stories of the criminals and the police inch closer together, and are precipitously close (as of last Sunday) to very violent confrontations.

The Wire is written, produced, and directed by the same people who brought you Homicide: Life on the Streets. Like it's NBC predecessor, The Wire gives you insight into the human conflicts in the police, and criminal's daily life.

So far, this show has me addicted, and impatiently waiting for the next installment. It's on HBO Sunday's at 10pm.

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Good News! The only new Tee-vee show I liked from last season that is returning for a second shot, Off Centre, is moving to a new night. You will be able to see it on Thursday's at 9pm on the WB. This is going to give the show an opportunity to reach a bigger audience. With NBC teaming with boring old shows on Thursdays, I am sure that people will mosey on down to find a better television option.

This will be a change for me, too, because since Cheers ended, I have not watched a show regularly on Thursday nights. So much for tradition, eh?