On The Tube

2000 Super Bowl Round Up

Man, what a lame Super Bowl. The last quarter was the only thing worth watching. Almost. There were the commercials. The Super Bowl is so hyped up, as we all know, that even the commercials are supposed to be worth watching. Sometimes that is true. This year it was not.

Except for one.

Let me put it this way: I love eTrade. Just because of what they did I am tempted to go throw my money away online with the rest of you morons. Almost. Now you ask, which eTrade commercial might I be speaking of? Isn’t it obvious? One word:

MONKEY!

Monkeys are funny, and eTrade knows it. They followed an age old recipe for hilarity to a tee. That recipe is this: put a monkey in it and it will be funny. Oh, and they really hit the nail on the head with this one. This wasn’t just a monkey, it was a monkey dressed up in a suit with an eTrade tee-shirt over top of it (because the monkey was too busy to change) standing on top of an overturned bucket dancing to "La Cocaracha" flanked buy two guys in lawn chairs probably named Earl.

Genius!

I love Cartoon Network.

It being Valentine’s Day and all, I have to say that I love something. I think it’s the rule. I hear you can go to hell if you don’t. So, to cover my bases I am professing my love for Cartoon Network right now.

Cartoon Network has been out standing for years, what with Space Ghost Coast to Coast episodes that involve "rocking out all over the universe" with Boston and, of course, talking Trans Ams. But Cartoon Network went above and beyond the call of duty with their "Big Game" coverage.

The "Big Game" was a match up between Wile E. Coyote and the Roadrunner for idiots like me who cannot tolerate 6 hours of blithering nonsense before watching the Super Bowl. So Cartoon Network got the "Inside the NFL" gaggle of clowns from HBO to come to a pre- and post- game show, while John Madden and Pat Summeral did the play-by-play. And by the looks on their aged-beyond-death faces, they might have though they where in the presence of super natural beings. They looked confused, to say the least. Also, the half-time show was practiced on an electric football table, but the "real" half-time show was not seen because Moltar accidentally left the camera on in the control room. Instead you saw several minutes of Moltar trying to get Freddie spill his guts about doing it with Daphne.

Also, Cartoon Network beat Oldsmobile to the punch by several hours. You may know that Oldsmobile tried (unsuccessfully) to spoof a Gap ad during the Super Bowl. Cartoon Network tried, and scored, before the Super Bowl even started. Here it is- a bunch of idiot cartoon characters singing/mumbling "Just Can’t Get Enough" just like those damned Gap Kids, followed up with the tag line "Everybody in no pants".

Cartoons don’t wear pants. And neither am I.

--Godzilla