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Grandpa On TV: May 2000
On The Tube

So another month is gone by and another perfect performance by
our friends at Fox and Friends. How often do I have to say
this? I love this show. People do not understand F+F, but I do.
So I have made it my solemn duty to tell you all that the show is
the best show on Tee-Vee in the mornings. Just watch it.
Seriously, I think the show is better than when I first began watching
it. The show is more polished, yet the show never appears to be
going according to plan. The people at Fox "news" Channel
are doing the right thing. Just watch it, OK?
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I remain opposed to Titus. Please let me know when it is
cancelled so Futurama can get a good time slot. I also think
King of the Hill should be six feet under.
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Am I the only person excited to see Jerry "The King"
Lawler doing play by play for the XFL? Stand back Summeral and Madden,
the King is in town!
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Nick at Nite's TV Land is alright, but we need to have a new cable
network devoted to 80's and 90's syndicated programming. Cheers,
The Cosby Show, My So Called Life, 90210, The Simpsons, Magnum,
P.I., Misfits of Science and the like. Who cares what they call
it, someone needs to consolidate the shows and specials that raised
another generation of Tee-Vee addicts. What meaning does I Love
Lucy have for Gen-X-ers who loved Bill Cosby and Will Smith?
Who wants to watch Emergency when we can watch Matt Houston?
Sure, this will not be easy. This new network will have to buy
a lot of programming, but the pleasure from the hours and hours
of meaningful Ronald Reagan jokes and Vietnam Vets fighting crime
bring world peace. Oh yeah, there would be hours and hours of Friday
Night Videos and Solid Gold for they who want to boogie.
Can you think of a better reason to throw out your remote?
Write your local Congressman and ask for a Joint Committee session
of the Television Embetterment Sub-Committee. If we are lucky, it
could be the last bill Clinton signs into law.
I am dead serious about this. Write your letter today.
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Vince and Shane are better bad guys than the Undertaker ever was.
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This is way off topic, but I highly recommend you getting the Stevie
Wonder song "Sir Duke" stuck in your head. I am so happy
it is all up in my head. Stevie is off the hook.
Of this I am also deadly serious.
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90210 and Saved by the Bell are both gone. These
friends of ours graduated together and went to college at the same
time. Zach and Steve got it on with the same chick. Zach and the
guy from King of Queens got it on with the same chick as
well. Who doubts the cultural or political effects of either of
these juggernaughts? Lets talk in thirty years and compare those
two with any other, higher rated shows, to find out what was more
important, silly hospital scenes and "nothing" or the
love between the writers and their audience.
I miss them both.
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Shows not to miss this month:
1: Fox and Friends (every day)
2: The O'Reilly Factor (every day)
3: The Stanley Cup Playoffs on ESPN and ABC (check your local listings)
4: Sports Night (Be sure to write ABC to let them know how disgusted
you are.)
5: Law and Order (on A&E, not NBC)
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