January 2002

Impending Joblessness

As a result of a relatively hostile takeover of my current employer, I need to look for a new job. Now I (as well as most of my co-workers) wait to be fired. Actually, I'm gonna be fired. It's not a matter of IF, it's a matter of WHEN. Oh well, it was good while it lasted, right?

Now I need to get me a new job. This sucks. I should be a millionaire by now, not some shmendrick begging for a job. Nearly everyone in the office is in the same boat. But, save a few of them, I really don't care. For what I've found is that very few people are looking out for me. As they say, it's a dog eat dog world…and almost as soon as we heard of the take-over, everyone ran for cover. Sure, there were a few more experienced people in my office who kept an eye on me, but those who called the shots have yet to lift a finger. There was one token piece of assistance, but even that was forced. It's amazing how fast the ideals of 'teamwork' and 'loyalty' go right out the door when times get tough. You learn quickly which people more than just mean well.

Enough of me reeling in the recent past, I need a J-O-B. Looking for a job is a fools game. If you don't have someone to help you get your foot in a door, you might as well not even bother.

Early last year, I dreamed of getting a promotion in 2003. More responsibility with more pay. Now I have to look for the same kind of step up the ladder inside a company in which I have no experience - and I have to do this in a short amount of time. I don't have all that much in my savings, so it's 'fight or flight' time for old Grandpa. I guess that's why, in my weaker moments, this all seems so damn unfair.

In those weaker moments, which come quite frequently, I feel like I should go into a new line of work. You see, I have this pipe-dream of changing tracks, becoming a full-time bartender or working from home (placing tiny ads in newspapers.) All I want is to avoid having to get a new suit for the next interview for the new job with a new commute to a strange city and a new parking lot. It's not like being a bartender would be easier than finding a new office job, I just think it's time for a change.

A change would be better than moving into a new job doing the same old thing.

So here I am, full of worry, self pity and aggravation. Yet, I think this job hunt is going to teach me a thing or two about life, or about myself. Maybe, but not bloody likely.