September 2002

Traffic: Morning and Evening Thoughts

Grandpa's Thoughts:

Traffic makes me sad and bored all at once: bored because is always the same; sad because I think it makes human evolution irrelevant. Thinking about the traffic I am a part of makes me depressed. Every morning and evening, all the cars are all moving at the same speed, and it looks like we are not really moving at all. While standing relatively still, the world moves under us, pulling us down the interstate.

As Bigfoot points out to me, I am a part of the problem. If I did not drive, traffic would be one car less traffic-y (that's a new word, folks.) I do not live in the same city in which I work. I do not use public transportation. I do not drive in a car-pool. But that is not the point.

My morning drive is rather simple. I drive against the heavy traffic - out of the bigger city towards the smaller city. I only stop for traffic lights, and hardly ever because of a jam or accident. I could read the paper or make Jello if that's what I wanted to do. Instead, I sit on my ass, looking ahead at the same cars and road I see every day.

It's not that my mornings/evenings lack variety. I can play music at high volumes, listen to some absurd talk-radio, or have a conversation with myself. I can drive slowly in the right hand lane. I can speed with the crazies in the left hand lane. I can do everything at once. Yet, as I approach my final destination, I cannot stop thinking that I am wasting my time.

I suppose that there is nothing more human than to believe that you are wasting the humanity granted to you. (Christ, does that make sense, or am I stupid?) Maybe my sadness and boredom while in traffic is a testament to how exciting my non-driving life really is. I cannot begin to know what answer is correct, or even why one answer is entirely wrong. All I can be sure of is that there MUST be a better way.

I think what I need is a helicopter.

Godzilla's Thoughts:

I take public transportation to and from work every day. This makes me better than Grandpa. Not because it's good for the environment and saves money, but because I can sleep right through most of my commute. While Grandpa is swearing at a-holes cutting him off, I am sleeping or reading the funnies.

But then again, my commute isn't all naps and giggles. On teh way to the train station every day I have to deal with the jokers on the Metro. The fuckers who stand in the way in front of the doors and the middle aged women from the suburbs and thier stupid conversations. But it's still all worth while when I can sit back and look out the window as my train leaves DC for Baltimore and I see all the a-holes sitting in traffic on the highway. Suckers!

However, my commuting between cities does take up almost three hours of my day. Every day. Jesus, I need a helicopter too.No, fuck that. I need to just give up and live under a bridge.