September 2002

My wife, Bigfoot, is wicked great!
Grandpa's Letter to His Readers

Dear Readers:

First of all, thank you for your support over the past three and a half years. I also appreciate that no one sends me fan or hate mail. I don't really want to know what you think. That is not what I am about.

What I am about, though, is telling you what I think, and I think my wife, Bigfoot, is wicked great.

Why is she 'wicked great'? For starters, three weeks ago, she almost completely cleaned our apartment in preparation for a visit by our landlords. Her tireless effort more than made up for my loafing around and heavy television watching schedule. The apartment looks great and I owe it all to her.

Also, she has helped me lose weight. That's wicked great. While she swears that she'll love me no matter what I look like, she is more than helpful in my quest to become less-fat. She encourages me to eat good, healthy food, but does not discourage eating fatty foods. (She understands that steak and french fries are good every once and a while.) In the last year, I have lost almost 30 pounds. I am no longer a fattie, I am chubby.

Last, and never the least, is her patience. You have no idea what it is like being me, or someone who has to live, eat, sleep and talk with me. Christ! She signed a contract to live with me! Her patience is wicked great.

Some other reasons why Bigfoot is 'wicked great' are her hugs, her ideas, and her smile. Oh yeah! Bigfoot is wicked great at the lovin'. My wife gives me good lovin'. Mmmm. I feel dirty just thinking about it. Eww, girl! Eeew!

Please do not accuse me of bragging. All I want to do is tell you all how lucky I am. I want you all to know that I am happy because my wife is wicked great.

Thanks for your time.

Your friend,

Grandpa