January 2003
An Economy of Stupidity
Godzilla:
What's up, Sport?
Lucky:
Not much.
Hey, did you read that economics thing I sent you? Economics is nerd heaven.
Godzilla:
Yes, indeed. Economics is nerd heaven. Speaking of which, Princess
was just accepted to the London School of Economics. What a nerd.
Queen of the Nerds, even.
Lucky:
Seriously. That's fuckin' all nerd, all the time.
Godzilla:
And nerd fuckin'!
Should I go to visit I would be like "Less math, more wrath!" Then I would beat some pencil-necked, Adam Smith-reading, number-plusing geek up.
With a cricket bat.
Then I would take a dump on the bar in some pub and be all "you like your beer warm? Well how about your turds, you shit-eating motherfuckers!"
Then I would bounce down the street yelling "USA! USA! USA!"
Also, I'm totally not jealous.
Word.
Lucky:
You do that, you might be the King of England. Shit, I'd make you
king, if I could.
Them cricket bats are jolly good ass kickers.
Godzilla:
Dude, you can make me King of England. All of England is subordinate
to every single American. We're totally undefeated when it comes
to England. 2 and 0!
Like I said, all of the UK is subordinate to every American- even the sweetly retarded guy I saw on the bus the other night- a fat guy with suspenders and a very young looking face who was following the ride along on his map- could just march around London telling people to put his wiener in their mouth and they'd have to.
Shit! Now I have to go to London!
Lucky:
Great - I declare you the King of England. Now give me a fucking
manor. And make me a duke or an earl or some shit.
Oh, and don't go trying to stick yer wiener in my mouth, just because I'm some fucking earl now, OK?
Godzilla:
Don't worry. I'm totally not retarded. I don't just go sticking
my wiener in anything. Only ladies- like your mom. Oh, and gas tanks
of certain sports cars. But seriously, don't worry. Just because
you are a pussy doesn't mean I'm going to mistake you for an actual
lady.
OK, I hereby proclaim you to be the Earl of Dookie.
You are to awarded the huge white porcelain Manor of Shitfordshire on the banks of the River Charmin.
Congratulations!
Lucky:
Sweet, but I prefer a bidet.
Shitfordshire is quite scenic, but a bit smelly, huh?
Godzilla:
Oh, it has a fountain out front, fucker.
Lucky:
Man, if there is any one person who needs to eat a bowl of dicks,
it sounds like it could be you.
But does it have a big, circular driveway? And is that clockwise, or counter clockwise?
Godzilla:
No, asshole, I think you are thinking of the whirlpool in the atrium.
Also, I wouldn't want to deprive you of your favorite meal. Do you prefer your daily bowl of dicks with milk and sugar, or with chocolate sauce? No, I bet you prefer hot fudge on your dicks. And I'm sure your usually too hungry to use a spoon so you just shovel them into your mouth with your hands.
Take that, fuck-face.
Lucky:
No, I was thinking of the circular drive.
As to your bowl of dicks, try not to scarf them down to quickly, it would be a shame for you to choke on one.
And I know how you like 'em served - with foreskins, freshly cut.
Godzilla:
Dude, that's not kosher.
Lucky:
Yes it is.
Godzilla:
Touché'. Let's go get some tacos.
