Safe Sex

Much has been said about safe sex in recent years. Not only is there the danger of unwanted pregnancy, but the risk of disease or even death cannot be treated lightly. As a doctor, I recommend that you always use a condom. And, since there is no 100% safe method of having sex, get tested often.

Am I some sort of "do as I say not as I do" doctor? No, I practice what I preach, and always use a condom. Especially when I’m doing your girlfriend. I have no idea where your girl’s snatch has been. If I didn’t have my jimmy hat on I wouldn’t go near her with your dick. Oh yeah, I guess I wouldn’t have to. But I know you and I wouldn’t want to pass on any disease to you, we go back. So, when I’m banging the shit out of your girl, possibly in the butt, I wrap that rascal. Then when she’s shouting out about how good I am, and about how you’ve got a limp dick, I don’t have to worry about disease and pregnancy.

I also get tested every three months. Condoms aren’t failsafe, so there’s still the possibility that I could contract some disease, and early detection can help you get treatment when it can help, and stop you from spreading some disease to the people you love. I especially need to get tested after going balls deep on this other chick I’m doing now, your mom. She’s dirty. She’s also all kinds of freaky in the sack, your mom is. She learned all of that from doing any guy at any time. That slut. She’s a dirty, dirty whore. At least that’s what she wants me to call her when we’re humpin’. And I know I have to be careful, what with you mom being such a junky. She says she doesn’t share needles, but she’d say anything to get a piece of my johnson. And just a piece, ‘cause it’s so fucking big. I mean, she’s pretty loose (now) but sometimes has has trouble taking the whole thing. Not like your girlfriend, who takes it to the hilt. I bet it feels like swinging a baseball bat in a garbage can with your skinny dick.

Damn.