May 2001

Atari Day

WASHINGTRON, DC - On May 5, 2001 Evil Robots, Inc observed its First Annual Atari Day. It is expected that Atari Day will become a much celebrated and anticipated holiday. Atari Day was conceived by Evil Robots CEO and Co-Founder, Godzilla, and Evil Robots Special Assistant, Mr. Joshua. Godzilla and Mr. Joshua cleared their busy schedules for the occasion and devoted the afternoon to playing Atari.

According to Godzilla, there was no significant reason for selecting the first Saturday of May for the holiday. He also states that Evil Robots may not wait another year to celebrate Atari Day. He then stated that the next Atari Day may be observed as soon as the following month, or maybe weekend. Godzilla the went on to say that a key component to Atari Day was missing, "Grandpa was not able to attend on the fifth, so the observation of Atari Day may have to be extended to the duration of the weekend so that he can get his fill of Pac-Man and Big Bird's Egg Catch. Oh, and Oscar's Trash Race. Can't forget that."

Atari Day is made possible by the vast assets of Evil Robots, Inc, among which is an Atari 2600. "It's the one with the original fake wood-grain finish, not that stupid fake metallic one," said Godzilla, "It matches my TV." According to sources deep within the Evil Robots organization, the Atari console is approximately 20 years old and has a matching fake wood-grain storage unit that also matches Mr. Godzilla's television set.

"What the hell is that all about?" pondered the CEO in a telephone interview, "Why is there a fake wood- grain finish on this stuff? Am I supposed to think that maybe my Atari is made out of wood? That doesn't really inspire much confidence, does it? And my TEEvee doesn't even look remotely wooden, not even with that bullshit contact paper all over it. Pass me that pot of methachino, would you?"

Atari Day was christened with a round of Combat (tank version- game #10), followed by a very short game of E.T. "That game doesn't make a damn bit of sense. What was I thinking?" demanded Mr. Joshua as the cartridge was torn out of the game console without first turning of the power. "Yeah, that'll teach that dumb game a lesson about sucking!" Godzilla hollered. Other games played include Pac-Man, Pitfall, Space Invaders, Enduro, Pole Position, Kangaroo, Q-Bert, Frogger, Spider Man, Chopper Command, River Raid, Berzerk, Airlock ("the hardest game EVER") and the day was ended with a serious round of Asteroids. In his closing remarks, Godzilla noted "Dude, if I play this any longer I'll be still be here tomorrow. I need a nap."

The two bold holiday-creating pioneers refused to play GI Joe, Dolphin, Math Grand Prix, Star Master, and Haunted House.

Godzilla claims to be an "Atari Genius" when he amazed Mr. Joshua by plugging Sega Genesis controllers into the game console instead of standard Atari joystick. "It totally works, dude. Let's turn this mother out."

Circus Atari was not played due to laziness. Neither of the gentlemen were willing to get up and plug in the paddle controllers.

Fishing Derby was broken.