September 2001

Evil Robots Co-Founders Declare "We will not go to graduate school"

In a series of unprepared remarks today, Grandpa, Co-Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Evil Robots announced that he does not want to go to graduate school. "After giving the subject a significant amount of thought, I have decided that graduate school is for chumps, and/or suckers."

When questioned further, Grandpa said that graduate school was a waste of time for other reasons.

"You cannot prove that I graduated from college. Were you there? I didn't think so."

When this reporter pointed to a college degree on his wall, Grandpa responded by saying, "You don't know what that is. I know you can't read Latin."

After the interview ended, Grandpa left a message on this reporters answering machine, saying, "I bet you think I am kidding, but I am not. I would not go to graduate school on a bet. I have been part of a continuing education program based on the theory that reading is no longer fundamental. I did not need to go to graduate school to learn that."

Then, Grandpa either farted into the receiver, or he made a farting sound with his mouth.

When asked for a response, Evil Robots CEO and Co-Founder Godzilla said, "Likewise, motherfucker. Especially the farting part," and hung up the phone. Or so it seemed. Apparently he just said "click". After a very confusing silence he the requested to hear what Grandpa said. "OK, thanks. I'll call you back, bitch."

"Yeah, I agree with all that shit. I am pretty sure that he didn't graduated from college because I didn't even go to the same college that he didn't graduate from. Hell, I can't even read, bullshit-head." Godzilla stated in an ensuing email.

"This is cocksuckery. So is grad school. I need a an f-in' beer." Godzilla then yelled into a brown paper bag and sent to the press corps to hear at their convenience.