October 2001

Evil Robots Withholds Joke, Feels Guilty

Washington, DC- In a message translated into Morse code and transmitted via kazoo at Mt. Pleasant & Lamont Sts, NW, Godzilla, CEO and Co-Founder of Evil Robots, Inc., said that both he and Grandpa refrained from releasing the first joke about the WTC and Pentagon tragedies even though they thought of it the morning of September 11th.

"I can't believe the restraint we had. I did not even tell my brother when he called that day," Godzilla tersely hummed, "and Grandpa did not say it in public for one whole week."

The joke, in it's entirety, is as follows:
Q: Why did the terrorists decide to attack America on September 11th?
A: Because their shark attack program was not going along as planned.

Suggested variations of this theme of Sharks as Terrorists included, "This is the worse shark attack yet," "since when could sharks fly a 767" and, "I've never heard of a shark this far up the Potomac before."

"I think the joke was good. I laughed so much I had to be excused from Church," said Godzilla, "I don't even know why I was in Church in the first place. No wait, that was the bar. And I didn't leave. Hey you! Get offa my lawn before I pump your ass full of rock salt! Wait, I don't have a lawn. What was I saying? Right, so I'm pretty sure I saw a unicorn at the airport the other day."

Other jokes about Osama bin Laden, Gary Condit, the tax refunds and sharks were tested, but were not being considered to be withheld because they did not meet Evil Robots rigorous standards.

"I think we need a little more time," said Godzilla, "We are in dire need of some laughter in the world now-a-days. Let's hit happy hour."