November 2001

Editorial Staff of Evil Robots dress as Chandra Levy for Halloween
Keep yelling "Gary said we were gonna do it in that ditch!"

Washington DC- At a recent Halloween Party held in a neo-hipster bar in the Adams-Morgan neighborhood of Washington, D.C., co-founders of Evil Robots, Inc., Grandpa and Godzilla, both dressed as the formerly famous, and still missing, Congressional Intern, Chandra Levy. According to their media advisory, left on the windshields of several local reporters automobiles, the two came to the idea independently.

"That bastard Godzilla must have stolen my idea! He copied everything I did, right down to rolling in a puddle of mud about an hour before the party!" said Grandpa, Co-Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Evil Robots, yelling out of a taxi window.

Confronted with this accusation, Godzilla, Evil Robots Co-Founder and CEO, claimed that the mud puddle was an accident. "I thought I saw a bus pass in there," he said. "Then some hobo knocked into me and I lost my balance and fell in face first. I didn't get that muddy, actually, until I realized that I was tired, so I took a nap. I woke up covered in mud. Or maybe hobo poop. I'm not really sure. Dammit, that hobo must have taken the bus pass. If only I had a bus pass, I would go down to the railraod yard and kick his ass!"

Grandpa arrived at the swanky shin-dig approximately ten minutes after Godzilla. Upon seeing Godzilla, Grandpa screamed like a girl and ran to a bar on the other side of the establishment. As he ran, he yelled, "Where the hell is Gary? He said we were going to do it in the ditch! Next thing I know he is hitting me on the head with a shovel!"

A stunned crowd watched as Grandpa, dressed as Chandra, stood on a bar stool and yelled, "I have been buried alive for over ten months, can someone please buy me a gin and tonic?"

Three different men purchased a drink for Grandpa.

At the other end of the bar, Godzilla appeared to be talking quietly with a small group of people interested in the design of his dress and his choice of wig.

After muttering something about "killing a hobo" for several minutes, he did respond to questions concerning his costume. "I did everything I could to dress like a social climbing tramp. These pumps make the ensemble perfect," remarked Godzilla, sipping on a whiskey sour. "Even with my goatee and dirty hair, I think I could still get into Gary's pants."

A gentleman named Gary, dressed as Batman, said, "That may be true."

When another patron dressed as Batman told Godzilla of the other Chandra Levy impersonator, he spit his drink on a woman, also dressed as Batman. He said, "Grandpa! Fuck that guy! He stole my bit!"

A bartender witnessed Godzilla pick up a bar stool and walk across the dance floor towards Grandpa repeating, "Gary was a pussy, I am going to finish the job!" A mob of bouncers grabbed Godzilla and removed him from the establishment.

According to sources, Grandpa did not know that Godzilla had been removed from the establishment.

In a letter left under a flaming bag of poop at the office of this news service, Godzilla wrote, "Grandpa is a total lie-making person. I thought of dressing as Chandra way before the shark attacks. He is a tool." The letter is finished with Godzilla saying, "And, so are you."

When contacted for comment, Grandpa said, "That is a double lie! Not only did I think of the costume first, but I knew you were a tool before he did, you tool."