November 2001

News Roundup: Rumors and Society Department

Burritos Lead to Psychic Connection

BALTIMORE/WASHINGTON- This just in, party people. Grandpa and Godzilla or Evil Robots fame have a psychic connection - or so they say. While having lunch with some former prison friends in Baltimore, the co-founders were heard saying, "Yesterday, we both had microwave burritos for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Isn't that strange?"

They credit their coincidental eating habits to their 'spirit guides' and Jesus.

They did not bring the same food to the lunch with friends that day.

Investigators searched for a better source for an explanation for their psychic connection. A friend who asked her name to kept private said, "Psychic? No, those two are just lazy."

I guess we all need to keep searching for proof of God!

Evil Robots Editorial Board "Wants Some Butts" in Congress

WASHINGTON, DC- Evil Robots' D.C. bureau recently caught wind of a letter sent to member for the House Judiciary Committee by Godzilla and Grandpa. They requested an opportunity to testify to congress.

It appears that Our Fearless Leaders have decided to announce to the world some information about their origins. In the letter they say, "We did not go to college, but we did spend a lot of time playing Super Nintendo."

They want to dispell the rumor mentioned several times in this column that the two met in college and did not, in fact, spend time in a state pennitentiary for stealing computers from a construction site in 1994.

"Why do people keep saying this?" the two sang in unison on the Capitol steps. Godzilla then yelled "I want some butts!" into a megaphone.

There is no word on the impending reply from the House Committee, so we will all have to wait and see.

Godzilla Insults Britian at Local Bar

WASHINGTON, DC- At yet another bar, Godzilla, Co-Founder of Evil Robots, Inc, insulted yet another European Country.

According to statements from three bartenders, Godzilla swore that "England is full of french-fried crap!"

Other musings from that long, drunken evening include "London is a pile of pee-soup!" and "Hey you, yeah, you over there! You look like you are from England - your country sucks! Get out of America!"

Grandpa, also a co-founder of Evil Robots, Inc., who was relatively quiet, said, "I totally did not mean to order that drink," but drank it anyway. He ordered a vodka and tonic, but was served a vodka and soda. He did, however, tell Godzilla that the bartender was from England.