February 2004

President Bush Receives Evil Robots "Queer of the Year" Award

BALTIMORE- In a small ceremony in Baltimore, Maryland, the Editorial Board of Evil Robots, Inc. announced the winner of the "2003 Queer of the Year" Award. The Award, given for the first time in public, was given to President George W. Bush. He did not attend the ceremony, but Evil Robots, Inc. co-founders accepted the award for him.

The award, created by Grandpa, with help from Godzilla, is meant to honor the United States Republican politician who did the most for his party and cause. The word "Queer", though commonly used as a derogatory slang word for 'homosexual' is not used that way by Evil Robots staff. In a stunning and shocking and amazing move last year, the Editors decided to change the meaning of the words "queer", "faggot" and "gay", making them derogatory towards conservatives. "Evil Robots respects homosexuals without any qualms," Godzilla stated, "so we'd thought we'd save derogatory terms for people who deserve it- like that faggot in the Oval Office."

"We thought it was time for change," said Grandpa. "What's more 'queer'- guys doin' other guys, or rich people having to pay no taxes?"

The award itself, a eight inch pewter statuette of an older man dressed in a suit with his hand on the head of a young boy, is affectionately known as the "Stroker".

In the ceremony, President Bush was recognized for "queerness above and beyond the call of duty," and, "flaming with pride before a dumbfounded nation."

Other Conservatives considered for the award were Maryland Governor Robert Ehrlich, Vice-President Chaney, and Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld.

"Ehrlich is so gay that he shoots red, white and blue flags out of his queer ass, but he lacks the gusto of our President," Godzilla remarked after the ceremony. "He is hella cockey, though. And has a sketchy gambling fundraiser named Dick Hug. No joke!"

"Rumsfeld and Chaney are wicked faggy, too, but they are not flamers like the Pres."

Grandpa added, "Rummy tries to be the bigger faggot, but he is not always given the platform to get all gayed out like Dubya. It's a shame, too, because I bet he's way more into being queer than all the others- he probably spends all his spare time polishing missiles in Dick Cheney's 'undisclosed location'."