December 2004

Evil Robots Honors Deceased Writer Justy with 1st Annual Macaroni and Cheese Off

WASHINGTRON, DC- Contrary to plans conceived late this fall, Evil Robots, Inc. Co-Founders Grandpa and Godzilla agreed to organize a memorial event for their recently deceased staff-member Justy. They plan on holding what will be called the "1st Annual Macaroni and Cheese Off" in Baltimore, Maryland later this spring. People will be invited from across the world to join in the contest for meaningless awards and crappy prizes.

After the announcement, yelled from the hood of a car parked on 16th Street in Washington, event co-founder and "Cheese Judge" Grandpa declared, "If there is a person in the world who thinks he can make me some mac-n-chee without dishonoring the memory of my baby brother should come to Baltimore!" After making his announcement, he mooned a traffic camera. Unconfirmed eyewitnesses reports claim that he also defecated in the street.

In a more civil discussion, Evil Robots CEO Godzilla cornered this reporter near some garbage cans outside a mexican restaurant. Initially, he said, that he and Grandpa were both dead-set against having a memorial "dork-fest" where "jack-asses lied to us about having read Justy's unreadable crap," but changed their minds when they realized that, as judges in such an all-talking/no-eating event, they would be allowed to take their favorite dishes home.

"It's a great way to get free food and nine-by-thirteen Pyrex dishes," added Godzilla, "and you can't have enough of those things. They are awesome."

Godzilla then spotted a tray of discarded refried beans, dropped his pants, sat in it, and sighed. He offered no explanation for this.

Macaroni and Cheese will be judged in five different categories:

• Stove-top
• Baked
• Soup
• with Hot Dogs
• Lasagna

No recipe may be submitted if it does not use cheddar as the majority (by weight) cheese. Blue cheese may not be used. All recipes must be sent to the judges in advance, and all female entrants must send sexy pictures of themselves. "Uggos", in the words of Grandpa and Godzilla, "should not feed anyone a creamy delight, if you know what we mean."