December 2000

Grandpa and Bigfoot Married!

LAS VEGAS, NV- On Saturday, December 9th, Bigfoot, special literature and programming editor for ERI, and Grandpa, co-founder and flax dispenser for ERI, were married in a simple ceremony in Las Vegas, NV.

The service was performed by Elvis "The King" and attended my friends and family. 'I am very happy,' said Grandpa.

This latest move by the ERI staff, along with the Baltimore/Washington Parkway takeover and relocation of the last three weeks, is thought to be more evidence of the strength of ERI.

'First they help FoxNews Channel become a player in the TV news game, then they break the Priceline.com story before the Washington Post, now they seem poised to take over everything.' said one observer.

'Their in depth research into travel and scotch have sent shock-waves throughout the news business, and their fiction is simply fabulous. This marriage is going to change everything.' remarked a friend close to the group.

While no babies are on the horizon for the two, some 6 year olds in Western Maryland have purchased baby clothes in the event of an unplanned stork visit.

Godzilla could not be reached for comment at press time. His personal assistant claimed Godzilla was out at a bar researching for his memoirs "My Life as a Lush".

Grandpa's phone was off the hook.