December 2000

Evil Robots Set to Dominate the Baltimore/Washington Corridor

WASHINGTRON,DC- In a move heralded by press watchers around the country, Godzilla, CEO of ERI, and Grandpa, High Priest of ERI, relocated to new headquarters at either end of the Baltimore/Washington Parkway. Godzilla will assume control over Washington, while Grandpa will, with the help of Bigfoot, control Baltimore.

It is not clear at this point how Grandpa and Godzilla will divide the suburban Maryland, but it is clear that the region is theirs for the taking.

'When President Eisenhower thought of the interstate highway system, he never expected the likes of Godzilla and me.' bragged Grandpa.

'With the addition of out Boston and Virginia bureaus, it was only logical to strengthen our position in the mid Atlantic.' said Godzilla, in a telephone interview. 'Grandpa and I do not need to control Maryland and Virginia from one central location any longer. We are stronger this way.'

The Governors of Pennsylvania and North Carolina spoke via telephone early Thursday morning to discuss the greater reach of ERI. Neither Governor's press officers were at liberty to discuss the contents of the Conversation.

'I am not afraid of North Carolina or its evil deer flies.' said Godzilla, with a smile. 'Our primary concern it to continue producing excellent literature to the public, and to control their thoughts.'

Godzilla and Grandpa plan to meet regularly, even daily, to keep abreast of their respective successes.

These meetings will be private and not open to the entire ERI board.

'There ain't no stopping us now.' yelled Grandpa, 'we're movin' on up.'"