Something Fishy at Gorton Household

Nova Scotia -- The Gorton's fisherman, the most trusted of all
fictional food providers, is under fire for alleged marital infidelity.

"Trust the Gorton's fisherman, my ass" exclaimed the estranged Gorton's
fishwife. "I found panties, perfume, and lipstick stains in my
husband's yellow rain slicker. How can you trust a man lies to your
face? Sure, he says he's out finding tasty, economical, and nutritious
meals for hard working moms, but have you ever seen a fish stick
swimming around? Something’s not right. And now that I’ve found this
evidence I will never trust the Gorton’s fisherman, my husband, again."

The fisherman’s bald headed attorney, Mr. Clean, has said his client has
no reason to respond to these allegations that are obviously the result
of a misunderstanding. He asks that you continue to "Trust the Gorton’s
fisherman."

--Sketchy