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Evil Robots, Inc. Announces IdiotCon2000
The Airport-- Be the first kid on your block to get your
tickets for IdiotCon2000. As every previous IdiotCon has been called
IdiotCon2000, we are especially excited for the first IdiotCon2000
to actually occur in the year 2000. This year’s will be held
in room 227 of the Airport Ramada. It’s a nice room, it has
double beds and a TEEvee. If enough people show up we’ll probably
order the SpetraVision porn. There will also be free soaps and sewing
kits available to the first 2 attendees, unless we decide to use
them.
Speakers for this year’s events include:
- Some wino who will insist that we don’t know anything about
him and we should stop judging him. He is expected to ask for
change.
- A bunch of hookers who will be appearing as part of a massive
tax write-off.
- Jon Stewart. Okay, not really, but wouldn’t that be cool?
He rocks.
As always the highlights will be the seminars, where the ERI board
members and friends will be speaking go on such topics as:
- Doing Nothing
- Being stupid in the new millenium
- What was I doing? Oh yeah.
- How did that hooker get here?
As a special treat Godzilla will be leading a discussion of proper
countermeasures that can be employed in case of a blimp attack.
This is always important as he hopes that someday someone will care
about his fear and worship of blimps. Space is limited, as he already
plans to addressing the coffee maker.
See you there!
--Sketchy & Godzilla
Evil Robots Executive Announces IPO
Evil Robots is proud to announce the initial public offering of
my dick. After years of support from private investors (or "in"vesting
in "privates", if you know what I mean), my dick is now
available to the market as a whole (or "hole".)
Trading on my dick is expected to be heavy, as interest is at an
all time high. Everyone wants a piece of my dick. Evil Robots, Inc.
who originally had hopes of keeping my dick a small, family like
concern, are offering my dick to the public after a period of unprecedented
growth. Investors are lining up for a taste of what is expected
to be a hot commodity in the near future. Many hope to catch a ride
on my dick in the near future as more growth is expected, possibly
by next weekend (my roommate is out of town and the video store
just got some new porn in.)
--Sketchy
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