BELLMAWR, NJ -- After the 48th consecutive listening
of Black Sabbath’s Paranoid and consumption of "a
massive fatty" local stoner and Wendy’s employee Wayne
Bismuth declared, "This is the greatest fucking album ever.
Dude, this is even better than Foreigner 4! Play ‘Electric
Funeral’ again. Waah, waah, wah, wah , waaah!"
According to ERI researchers, the CD’s liner notes state that,
"Paranoid introduced themes that would recur throughout
Black Sabbath’s career – doom, destruction, and realms
beyond the grave. Its selection of original songs, including "War
Pigs", "Iron Man", "Electric Funeral",
and the album’s centerpiece, the six minute-plus "Fairies
Wear Boots" would set standards for countless heavy metal hopefuls
to follow."
Bismuth declared, "Ozzy Rules!" then ordered a pizza.
