PRESS RELEASE: Who wants my pickle?

RICHMOND, VA- Evil Robots, Inc CEO and Co-Founder, Godzilla, called a press conference earlier today to ask the general public an “urgent question concerning the future of this organization.” The press conference was apparently of such an urgent nature that no advanced warning was provided to the media, which has been following the success of Evil Robots with great enthusiasm.

The press conference began at approximately 12:30 PM this afternoon. The question put forward to the attendees was this seeming simple question: “Who wants my pickle?” The press conference was held a neighborhood bar in close proximity to the company’s regional offices.

Many of those in attendance were unaware of the press conference and as a result Godzilla raised his voice so all could hear. “Does anybody want my pickle?!” Most patrons acknowledged the question only by staring intently at their beverages.

“Would you like my pickle?” continued Godzilla to the young lady in the booth adjacent to the one occupied by himself and Evil Robots Chief Analyst and Editor-at-Large, Sketchy. What follows is a transcript of the proceedings:

Godzilla: So, you want my pickle?
Patron: What?
Godzilla: My pickle? You want it?
Patron: I’ve already got one.
Godzilla: So? You want another?
Patron: No thanks, one is enough.
Godzilla: The more the merrier.
Patron: What?
Godzilla: I’m just sayin’ that this is a good pickle. It’s sweet and tangy and dripping with pickle juice.
Patron: Leave me alone.
Godzilla: This pickle will satisfy you. You won’t need another pickle ever again. It’s very rigid.
Sketchy: (giggling)
Patron: What’s he laughing at?
Godzilla: Oh nothing, he’s just an idiot.
Patron: Why don’t you give him your pickle?
Godzilla: He hates pickles. Besides, I want you to have my pickle.
Patron: Are you high?
Godzilla: No, I just think you would really like eating this pickle. I know I’d like that.
Sketchy: (giggling)
Godzilla: I bet he’d like for you to eat his pickle too.
Patron: That’s quite alright.
Godzilla: Are you sure? I’d be happy to give you all the pickle you want. I only ask that you let me have a slice of your pie in return.
Patron: Actually, I don’t like pickles. I’d rather eat pie.
Godzilla: Oh really? Kinky!

The press conference ended shortly thereafter as Godzilla was escorted off the premises by security personnel.