July 2000

PRESS RELEASE: A Plea for Privacy

Members of the media and general public-

I feel that I need to clear the air. Many claims have been made about me recently. They are unfair, untrue, and completely misrepresent me. Instead of taking legal action, I would like to take this opportunity to clear my name. Hopefully after reading this, I may go back to living my life in private, and peacefully.

I am lurking in my neighbor's bushes, but it's not my fault. I swear it. I have nothing to do with it. I am being reversed stalked.

This lady won't leave me alone. She keeps driving in front of me everywhere I go. Just as I am very slowly poking my head around the end of the next aisle at the grocery store, there she is bending down to tie her shoe. Just like, as I mentioned, when I am sitting here in her bushes, she is just getting out of the shower.

Why won't she leave me alone?! I just once want to be able to develop a roll of my film without having to see a picture of the lady next door sunbathing. Why does she have to walk around in her new bikini while I'm taking pictures of her fenced in pool from the window in my attic? I'm tired of finding her mail crumpled up and jammed into my parka. This has to stop.

She acts like she doesn't like me. Like I'm the one with the problem, but I am so on to her. Reverse stalkers are the worst kind of perverts.

Now I hope that this statement will put an end to this controversy once and for all. Thank you very much.